Dear Ai-Ai

I love you!!! I really do!!!

You strike me as the kind of person who make people happy by insulting the life out of them!!!

Your form of comedy reminds me of a childhood favorite, The Three Stooges. You know, the kind where someone needs to get hurt to get a laugh???

Your comments on national issues are so profound even a five year old would be confounded by the leaps of logic you espouse on national TV.

So, yes, when I read in the news that you intend to run for public office this wonderful Saturday morning, I choked on my eggs and had to be given a “hind lick maneuver,” as you would probably call it, to survive!!!

I have to say this, though, your gumption, courage and aggressiveness is to be looked up on by every ill-meaning politiko who wishes the best for us in public and then guffaws like a carrion eating animal in private when they win.

Your sincere intentions are the bane of every starving Filipino citizen but the pride of every attention hungry has-been artista who can’t even finish a logical sentence but earns millions out of the ignorance of the very fans they wish to scam into voting them into power.

Think of it! Don’t we have enough power hungry, corrupt, graft ridden, insincere, thieving, lying politikos in the august halls of public service that you want to join them?

I mean, maybe we can have better use of your genius in entertaining the public by screaming your lungs out, half naked around the slums of Manila portraying a typical palengkera for the whole world to see and judge us by!!!

So, why don’t you, Kris Aquino, Boy Abunda (I think) and all the other artistas who plan to join the May 2016 Comedy Championship just can it and give us all a break.

Your inane and insane comedy serves a better purpose. It makes us forget our problems by being stupid for a couple of hours and we have you all to thank for that.

So please, stay where you are best needed, do what you do best, excel in your profession and career. Leave politics to the many professional thieves and liars who populate government buildings.

We have so much incompetent public servants already to add politically challenged artistas in the mix.

In fact, we actually have quite a number of politically and legally challenged entertainers in politics that every live coverage is now a certified blockbuster pre-empting the previously popular telenovelas.

So please, for the sake of your career and national sanity, keep at the comedy, we appreciate you there so much better.

At least better than Kris. Aquino!!!

Chokingly yours,

A LMFAOOL citizen

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