Sexy Chick sa Krus Inupakan

Anak ng tipaklong naman sis!

Sa lahat naman ng posing, ito pa ang naisipan mong gawin!

Ayan, lahat tuloy ng Katoliko at Kristiyano sa buong bansa inuupakan ka.

Sino ba naman kasi ang nagsabi na maglambitin ka diyan sa Krus ni Hesus!

At Biyernes Santo mo pa napili gawin ito! Sana hinintay mo na lang dumating yung concert ng LMFAO, baka na-discover ka pa ng mga talent managers.

Ngayon lahat ng miyembro ng Catholic Women’s League, Simbahan, pati yung mga walang diyos pinagpipiyestahan ka. Para kang pulutan na pinapapak sa Facebook. Hehehehe, pati yung mga news orgs (orgs as in organization hindi po orcs) headline ka na ngayon.

Kasi bakit pa kita nakita sa album ni Maike Domingo eh. Ka-chat ko nga si Maike. Sabi niya, okay na rin angkinin ng iba yung photos niya, kasi sobrang upak na ang inaabot eh. Tsamba lang daw yung mga kuha niya sabi ni Maike!

Pero teka, may tsamba ba na ang kasama mo kumukuha ay mga photography legends tulad nina Luis Liwanag at Joe Torres. Inarbor ko nga yung ibang kuha mo Maike, dahil sobrang galing ng pichurs mo eh!

Tsaka isipin mo, kung hindi mo pi-nost itong photos na ito, hindi malalaman ng simbahan na nilalapastangan na pala sila ng mga kabataan! (Teka, hindi alam ito ng simbahan? Ows? Di nga? Di nila alam na nilalapastangan sila?)

Tsaka Maike, ang galing mo talaga! Biruin mo, yung kuha nung chiching na nagpapa-kyut sa krus huling-huling mo ang moment! Talagang moment na moment yung tsiks!

Pero kidding aside ha, mahusay ka Maike gumamit ng camera. Yung ibang pictures mo huli yung emotion at intensity ng pasyon ng Pilipino tuwing Holy Week. Ramdam sa puso at isip ang hirap nila para mapatawad ng Diyos!

Tama na seryoso.

Kasi napabaling ang mata ko dun sa iba pang litrato ng iba pang nag-posing sa krus.

Meron pang foreigner, tsaka ibang bata, tsaka may isip na matanda. Lahat sila asta party ha!

Para bang, sa gitna ng pagdurusa, meron pa ring walang pake ano?

Insensitivity amidst fanaticism, sabi ko nga.

Pero dahil okay ang pichu-pichur doon sa Krus, halatang obvious na ginawa itong tourist attraction ng Angeles City ano?

Hindi daw sabi ng Angeles City. Sabi sa statement nila na dinukot ko sa wall ni Stanley Palisada ng ABS-CBN - ”The act of some tourists who posed from the cross was not countenanced nor condoned by the Tourism Office or the Brgy Council of Lourdes North West. Every tourist should respect the solemnity of the Holy Week. The intention of the Good Friday program was to make the people remember the deeds, sacrifices, and death of Jesus Christ”

Ah Tagalog?

Wala daw sila pakialam sa ginagawa ng mga turista! Eh pake nila kung mag-posing dun mga dayo, di naman nila sinabing puwede eh. Di din nila sinabing bawal noh!

Anyways highways, tapos na ang the end. Pegul na yung tsiks na naka-shorts na malamang eh idemanda ng St. Theresa’s College sa Visayas dahil sa pag-post ng pichur niya sa Facebook at baka hindi na siya mag-gradweyt sa STC (teka taga-STC ka nga ba chika-babe?)

Nagalit na ang mga relihiyoso na laging naka-luhod dahil kasalanan daw ang nangyari (parang sila walang kasalana)! Ngumawngaw na ang mga Pari dahil sacrilege daw (eh yung rape kaya father?) At naghugas kamay na ang Angeles City!

Sabi sa inyo kasalanan natin ito kasi pinatulan pa natin yung pichur ni chika-babe eh. Sana hindi ko na lang pinansin si Maike Domingo kahit na mahusay na litratista siya.

Next time Maike sali ka sa photoshoot ng magazine kong Power Wheels ha! Kotse ang kinukunan dun parekoy!

Pag may masama pa sa litrato ng kotse ewan ko na sa mga kulot ninyong buhok na nakatago!

Ayaw Talaga Paawat!!!!

Hayup!

Ayaw talaga paawat ng mga kumag!

Anak ng teteng. Nadaya daw yung eleksiyon!

At ang witnesses, yung mga sinibak sa Comelec dahil may mga sabit!

Mukhang naniniwala na ako dun sa “conspiracy theory” na ibinulong sa akin ah!

“Helllo Garci?….” ganito ano, ayusin mo yung mga computer, itanong mo sa PCOS machine kung ano gusto nila, ibigay mo lahat ha….basta kailangan manalo lahat ng kalaban ko okeeey??? Salamat Garci!!!”

Walanjo talaga! May death wish yung maliit na tao sa Malacanang ano?

But wait!! There’s more!!! If you call in the next five minutes, you will have another Vice President!!!

Isip-isip mga katoto!!! Hindi kaya ito talaga yung pakana ng mga palaka??

Kasi, dehin puwede dayain para matalo diba? Lola, pag dinaya nila at natalo si Noynoy, laking gulo!!! FIFOL FOWER ang eksena Ate!!!

Eh kung nanalo? Quiet ang mga bading!!! Walang FIFOL FOWER!!! Credible ang eleksiyon!!! Korek??? KOOORREEEKKK!!!!!

WROOOONNGG!!!

Ngayong biliv na ang mga otar na nanalo talaga si Noynoy, tsaka biglang may I come in yung mga operators-chuva. Ano ang talkish nila??

DINAYA NAMIN ANG ELEKSIYON!!!!

Samantala, sa isang madilim na Kastilyo sa Pampanga, madidinig ang ganitong halakhak….”Bwahahahahahaha…na-isahan ko sila!!! Kung hindi kita kaya talunin sa daya Ngoyngoy, mananalo ka sa daya…..bwahahahahahaha!!!!”

Hayup! Ang galing ng nagplano! Parang yung tumira ng 2004 elections!

“Bwahahahaha….ang husay mo talaga alagad na Runi….wala ng katulad mo…..bwahahahaha….” nadidinig sa kastilyo sa Pampanga!!!

At double tap pa po mga Kakulay!!!

Sabit din si Rambotito na nagbigay ng sobrang sakit ng ulo sa kanila dati. Ang Vice President ng mga Jejemon na si JejeMar daw ang bumili ng serbisyo ng mga kawatan sa Comelec.

Hayup sa placing ano? Talagang scripted parang “Tanging Yaman!” Hmmmm, sino pala may-ari ng istasyon nun???

Nilaglag si Mar, kinampihan si Noynoy, di ibinoto ni Erap, siya bumili ng boto, puwede isali ang kahit sinong kandidato, pati presidente!!!!

Wow!!!

Pang-FAMAS yung script Direk!

“And the Best Movie of the Year goes to…..”Eleksiyon, Merong Himala!!!!” (standing ovaration!!!)

Hayup!!!! Kung totoo itong “Conspiracy Theory” ko….na ikinuwento ng isa sa mga batikang political operator sa Pilipinas….ang galing-galing nilang lahat!!! Lahat sila kasali sa conspiracy….pati pagpatay kay Jose Rizal sila ang may alam!!!

AWAT NAAAAAA!!!!!

Parang awa niyo na….AWAT NA!!!!

The again….baka naman totoo pala!!!!

Bwahahahahaha…..mwahahahahaha……nyaaaahahahahahahaha…..(fade into silence and black….)

New Media and the News

In so-called First World countries the internet has become such a way of life that very few can now do without it. In some circles, this era is now referred to as B.G. or Before Google, that search engine site that can give one almost any answer they choose to believe in. Add to this the phenomena called blogging and we do have a global electronic revolution in the making, if not yet succeeding.

In Asia, the Philippines is 5th in the ranking of countries that have a high number of people online everyday. My friend Ricky Rivera puts it at 9 million. This figure is one that major news outfits in the country would kill or die to have sole capture of.

The interesting fact is that while the newspaper will be a hard medium to beat for now, the internet is fast becoming the news source of Filipinos. And bloggers are becoming news sources themselves. Even social network sites like Facebook turn into news channels during certain occasions.

In September of 2009, Facebook became a wide information phenomenon in the country when Typhoon Ondoy hit the country’s capital. In minutes of the flood hitting Eastern Metro Manila, photos of the calamity were finding their way onto Facebook accounts.

In fact, it was in Facebook that the first Google Map of the tragedy came out. Here was a comprehensive log of the places badly hit by floods so rescue and relief efforts can be easily coordinated. This  map was filled out by Facebook account holders who were updating via their i-phones or blackberry’s because they were out on the road helping the victims.

Eventually, and grudgingly, the networks had to acknowledge the value of the social network site in the delivery of information and pictures of the tragedy. In fact, ABS-CBN actually used some photos posted on the web as a montage of ANC’s interstitials. I am not sure if they got permission to use these photos from the owners since at that point nobody minded as long as the photos made it to the public eye.

After Ondoy, blogging became pervasive. News were actually delivered by some newsmen on their blog sites before it got onto the papers and the TV and radio stations. Others began blogging about their experiences and opinions. This was how the issue about the DSWD blew up.

What really attracted internet denizens to the news on the web is the ability to react to the news. Unlike the print and broadcast version where one can only grumble displeasure, the web allowed reactions. Even if some of the sites were strictly monitored and censored, the mere act of typing an answer became a cure to the stress of silently grumbling.

Barring countries like China, most countries now have their news organizations outfitted with a web version if only to please the present residents of the www world. It is also in anticipation of the time when the print and broadcast fans die out and the new generation of surfers take over the adult world.

For now, the web is the province of the young and growing up. Detractors will say that there is no use for the web because it is populated by the gamers and the geeks. They forget that these same people will eventually grow old, much liked they did, and will become the adults of their generation, taking with them their web habits. And us, we die with our own habits.

So the future of information is the web. The future of the news is the web. And the form that it is taking for us is the blog. We rant, we rave, we give factual accounts, we deliver the news, we entertain all on the web. So kids, blog away. That is after all your future.

Alaska-nator on Late Night Show

Yep, it is a parody of the Filipino term “alaska” which means “to make fun of.” That is the title of my segment on Jojo A. All The Way aired every Wednesday on TV5. Jojo Alejar’s show is on daily from 12mn at TV5.

What do I do? I make fun of everyone and everything. Well its only been three segments so far, but yes, I do like to make a joke of all the issues in our country, and everywhere else for that matter, so why not.

My first outing I made fun of Noynoy and his habit of talking about his parents and what they have done for the country so we should vote for Noynoy.

My second segment deals with surveys and the reactions the candidates have towards these segments. And the third is Kris Aquino and her antics.

It’s really not very original, more an imitation of the social satirists of the US and UK and Canada, bringing their criticism in a comedy format. This style agrees with Jojo A.’s format of a late night show much like those of David Letterman, Jay Leno and the defunct Conan O’Brian.

I have received some nice reactions from friends and not so nice reactions from others who don’t appreciate the bite of my (quite dumb) humor. But either way, it’s television, it’s based on the news (expect me to deliver some scoops via comedy through this segment), and it is a segment I produce.

My gratitude to Jojo A. for the support. Let’s pray this style becomes easier to swallow than the early evening newscasts and daily commentaries.

back on tv-yes!!!

i just finished taping with jojo a. last night for his tv show “all the way with jojo a.” on tv-5. after three years away from the camera, except for a guesting here and there, it is a bit exhilarating to be facing it again.

the title of the segment is “the alaska-nator free spits” and it is mainly a social satire format. we make fun of anything and everything and we do not expect to be liked by everyone, just those with a sense of humor.

first episode deals with noynoy aquino and his vaunted “yellow army.” well, noynoy and his bunch of egg-heads will not like the segment one bit, but i’m sure a lot others will find it quite funny, we did!

everybody loves a joker until the joke is on them. well, the joke is on me so i will just enjoy the show. see you guys!!!

you can also find me in facebook (ira-bernardo v. panganiban) and in wordpress (freespits).

email me at ira_p@pldtdsl.net or ira.panganiban@gmail.com.

the friendly airlines – not!!!!

this past holiday season, a report reached abs-cbn news that a mother is filing discrimination and other charges against cebu pacific after flight crews demanded that they deplane her son who is mentally challenged.

maritess alcantara said the flight crew insisted that according to their flight manual, no two mentally challenged persons can fly in one plane. of course the mother got mad and insulted since the boy was already challenged.

now, i do not know of any rule in flying that says this prohibition. in fact, this is the first time i heard this. cebu pacific says they have already issued an apology and besides the mother and son did fly on the same flight anyway.

that is not the point! the point is that no person should be discriminated upon because of a physical or mental disability. if two mentally challenged persons cannot be in the same plane, then no set of bigots should run the plane at all!!!

cebu pacific should rethink its policy and review their flight crews for performance and mental stability. because in the end, only those mentally challenged will refuse to be with another mentally challenged person.

Hacking the System

Last night, I heard over the news that someone attempted and may actually have succeeded in hacking the government computer system.

Broadcast commentators surmised that if this could happen, then maybe the automated election system may be vulnerable to outside attack and can cause problems during tabulation.l

But a very close friend of mine now working in Silicon Valley told me a very disturbing information, the attack need not be from the outside. The tampering of the election result could actually be from then inside.

Nilo (never mind his family name) and I were discussing last year how the system could be taken advantage of by anyone who wants to cheat. I, of course, was taking the position that it could not be done because it was computerized.

Nilo said this was the biggest joke he ever heard. He told me that even in the United States, the automated tabulation system had redundancies that came from different, unknown groups simply to make sure that no program was entered to compromise the result of the vote tally.

“Computer language are mere algorithms formulated by man,” I remember Nilo educating me. “In all these algorithms, all a cheater need do is insert a formula that makes one candidate get a .01% advantage in the tallying and he would come out the winner. Even one as minute as 1/1000 of apercent, when computed in the millions will be very substantial,” he further explains.

To make it simple, let us look at it this way: if candidate A (the bet of the guys who control the computer) wants to win, any programmer need to do is simply insert a formula that says for every vote counted 1.01 is given to candidate A.

In effect, for every 100 vote, 1 is automatically given to candidate A. At a thousand votes this is now 10 and at then thousand it becomes a hundred and so on, just do the math.

It will not be very visible to any eye simply because no dagdag-bawas occurs. The vote tally remains consistent with the number of voters and no one is seen doing anything untoward.

“It is all done in side the system! Only a full program review will reveal the flaw,” stresses Nilo.

So, with the track record of our present administration, do you think they do not want an automated election? Look at the delays at delivering the machines and the programs from another point of view.

It is simply called Hacking the System!!!

Crowd Control at Star City and Ocean Park

Fine, I’m griping again.

But who would not after being subjected to the worst kind of “falling in line” system anywhere in the civilized world. And this was in two of the most visited places in Manila during the holiday season.

Okay, so some wise guys will tell me “why go there when you know it will be so bad?” Because I did not think it would be this bad, REALLY!!

I mean my family has been to Star City almost every year since Robbie was born. It used to have these nice lines for people to follow when buying tickets and another lane for getting in.

This year, the lines to the ticketing windows were a mass of humanity. I could not even see if there was a line at all. Just people milling around until you get to the window and realize there were three lines going in that direction. Result, chaos at the window since three customers are jockeying to get to the teller first. And then, the line to the entrance was blocked by the mass of humanity lining-up for the ticketing window.

But it does not end there. Never mind that I had to fall in line for half an hour to end up discussing who goes first on the window (I decided to just let the other two go first since we were all in the line long enough anyway,) I had to spend another half hour through the entrance gate of Star City because of the security check.

No I am not rankling about the security check. I’m glad it was there. Just having those guards on the one lane gates made sure nobody tried to be a smart ass and slip by or create trouble.

What I hated was the inefficient way the lines were made. The crowd had to hustle against one another to form a line somewhere at back which did not show where it was going up front. Result, everyone was shifting lines so often that we ended up not knowing who goes first where.

The next day Robbie wanted to go to Ocean Park because a friend told him it looked like the Singapore park. It is Christmas and a holiday so I graciously acquiesced to my boy’s wishes.

Another wrong move. We went there on a Saturday afternoon. We got Rizal Park at about 2:30pm. Outside Ocean Park, there was a long line for security check. Unlike Star City, Ocean Park had a security check before the teller window. Long as it was, I found it logical because the frontage of the park was very big and beside, right after the security line was a guard giving out priority numbers to every group entering. Good show I said to myself only to swallow the complement a few minutes later.

Once inside, I saw another mass of humanity shuffling around the ticketing booth waiting for their number to be called. There should have been a system because there was a huge number display above the ticketing counter indicating what priority number was being served.

The irritating part was that the administrators of Ocean Park were just allowing everyone to gather around the entrance to the ticketing booth making it difficult for those whose numbers were up to enter the booth.

Typical Filipino crowd, even when their number was 500 places away, they forced their way into the front of the line thinking that way they could get in earlier. When told they could not, they just stayed up front and debated with the guards.

There were actually places to sit down like restaurants around the foyer, but Filipino commerce being what it is, the crowd needed to buy something to use the chairs or they were shooed away.

Also, right after getting the tickets, the customers were told to go to an exit that went right to the entrance to the park proper. Now there is a long line to this door, but the customers exiting this way do not realize this so they call their relatives to the front of the line. We all know the result, another round of debates before the poor guys will grudgingly go to the back of the line.

All this happening in a space as large as the lobby of SM’s Imax theater. I got in at 4:30pm after a huge bowl of mami, a siopao and two siomai’s.

These two parks are wonderful places for kids to go to during holidays. I mean Star City has good theme parks inside and wonderful rides that have been improved for safety (or so I hope.) And Ocean Park is a very educational place to be with your children that visiting it once a year should be a must for all our kids.

But the manner the crowd is controlled leaves much to be desired. Having your children with you inside that hot, crowded mass of anxious humanity can be maddening for a parent.

Imagine my concern every time I would lose hold of my 8-year-old son even for a fraction of a second. Or my worry every time an angry voice is raised inside that angry crowd. Such a condition is an accident waiting to happen.

Now I don’t know who to address this to or who should really be on top of the situation. All I know is that I would hate to be a parent inside that crowd when a stampede occurs.

Mayor Alfredo Lim or Mayor Peewee Trinidad would you happen to have an idea who should take charge?

Hello world!

The greeting is apt. Hello World it is then!

I am a broadcast journalist in hiatus. I left my last broadcast job last July of 2008 after some disagreements with my bosses at RMN DZXL 558. No regrets there, it was fun while it lasted and the guys from RMN are a pretty cool bunch, except for some asswipes, but most if not all were great.

For those who would wonder, I am Ira Panganiban, more popularly known (at least in my mind) as Sports La’ang of the defunct Alas Singko Y Medya fame. It was in ABS-CBN where I made some mark, but I truly began my career in GMA 7′s DZBB as a radio reporter.

As I earlier said, I am a broadcast journalist at heart and I am still trying to find my place in the broadcast news landscape of the Philippines. Meanwhile, I write about cars and everything connected to it at the best business paper in the Philippines today, the Philippine  Business Mirror’s Motoring page.

But after more than a year away from Radio news, and four years away from TV news, I find myself needing to express myself. I believe I need a place where I can discuss more things, express my opinions on a lot of aspects of our society, and maybe in the process convert my stupid or maybe senseless ramblings to something positive.

Please forgive me if some of my thoughts, issues, proposals or my words seem absurd, strange, witless or simply out of this world. They are after all just the voice of one person who has so many things on his mind.

Finally, this early, allow me to thank you readers who bother with their time to read my ramblings. Maybe this rambling can contribute to your peace of mind, or actually worsen it.

For now, I begin my rambling.